HAAT – he ain’t all that
ILMD – i love my dealer
GGRO – gotta get a record out
SMSSA – save me some stella artois
LGNT – let’s get nuts tonight
DYWH – did you watch The Hills
TDJMMWTKM – that dj made me want to kill myself
SPPP – stop playing pop punk
SPTP – start playing tech pop
WWDWD – what would Dwayne Wade do
GTFAFMLS – get the fuck away from my little sister
TMC – too many creeps
WACK – where are the “club kids”
UNTRTJOF – u need to rediscover the joy of thinking
MSTDTMCR – more STDs than My Chemical Romance
HDJ – horny DJ
SYGTWID – sorry you got the wrong idea dude
IOFY – I’m on fire yo
CMSKK – call me santa klaus kinski
ISOWC – i’m sick of wearing clothes
URMOMJ – u remind me of my jeep
CITYH – can i touch your hair
WAYG – what, are you gay

1. You can afford cereal
2. You’re a contributing fellow at more than one museum
3. You’re enjoying a dual-income relationship with your serious but not too serious gf
4. The subway is not an option
5. As soon as your invitation arrives, you have at least two friends in mind who can arrange for you to borrow something really special to wear
6. You’re a little too nice to that guy at the party whom you suspect is talking to The Post
7. You’d like to learn more about plans for 80 South Street
8. You know exactly how hedge funds work
9. You refuse to wait for anything …a meeting, a private pod at Lever House, sex
10. You’re really happy! But you have no idea why